Thinking I should give it the old college try again, I jumped right back into Young Adults at church. Not much had changed since the last event, the usual. They went to Theology on Tap, they are working on creating a new bible study that was developed by Scott Hahn, and oh yes... they started a group called Young Marrieds.
Hmmmm...
As if it wasn't awkward enough to go to Young Adults and see everyone married, now there is a group just for them. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for people with like minds to get together, and if it involves God - then it's even better - BUT apparently now all the "Young Marrieds" are jumping ship from Young Adults, and strictly joining the other group.
Is there a particular reason to leave us? We're not diseased. We're not mean or black hearted. We just want to be friends. It kind of hurts. This is a group I can't join. It's exclusive. Because I don't have a ring on my left ring finger, I can't be at their church activities on Tuesday nights. And because they do have a ring on their left ring finger, they can't join "my kind" on Mondays? I know life is busy - believe me, work has been insane, as you can tell by the lack of updates. I just don't know why I feel so upset or betrayed by this. At least with the Knights of Columbus I can understand. You have to be a guy. I get that. And as bitter as this post sounds, I don't want to come off as griping or sounding bitter if I voice my concerns to the group. Even with the ups and downs I was already feeling, I thought we had a good thing going. Maybe I was wrong...
So what's my alternative? Do I start a strictly singles group? How about a singles bible study? And if I do either, how do I not sound spiteful?! AH!
God, give me the strength to love myself as I am. Single. Your servant. A child of light. Give me the strength to live out your plan on your time, and yours alone.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Single, and okay with it. For now...
I don't know if it's the empowerment I feel when I hear Beyonce declare "all the single ladies put your hands up" or not, but I don't really mind being single right now. But then again, Beyonce isn't single...
While making copies of statistics sheets last night at a pro-life clinic I volunteer at, I came across a small prayer pamphlet. We have them everywhere, so it wasn't unusual to see them scattered. But this one stood out. Why? Because in a place where pre-marital sex isn't out of the ordinary, and where male-female relationships are key (you have to have both to make a baby!), I found a pamphlet for Catholic singles. Yeah, yeah, I know that you can be single and have kids, or be single and dating, but it still struck me as odd - especially for "my kind of single."
What is my kind of single?
I'm 27 years old. I've never been in a relationship, and I have only been on 4 dates total. Two were prom dates, and two were in college. Seeing as I'm still single, you can see they didn't work out. My first kiss was in college, and while there have been several since, none of them have meant anything to either person involved. I've never had sex, I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been more annoyed by married people in my life! That is "my kind of single."
First off, let me say congratulations to all those married people out there. It's a big step. It's an important step. It's a very loving and religious thing to do. Trust me - you're doing just fine. As Catholic's we believe that God has a plan - and for you the plan is to get married to the love of your life and have the children that God blesses you with. It is your vocation, and it is your life. The Catholic Church supports marriage and thinks highly of those who follow this vocaiton.
So what about singles? Does is seem like the Catholic Church is forgetting its Catholic singles? In a word? Yes.
Church's all over the world hose youth events, senior events, and marriage prep classes. Singles are often lost in the shuffle. Hard to believe since each Catholic church is led by a single. Remember priests are single also!!!
"The family-centric atmosphere the church promotes is undeniably praiseworthy. The Catholic Church is the real deal--the oldest Church, the original social workers, the molder of liturgy, tradition, and our modern day religious celebrations. The Church remains strong in its efforts to promote the peaceful sharing of moral and spiritual convictions among not only its members, but all Christians, and all people throughout the world. Needless to say, Catholic singles are a part of this fellowship. But where is their niche?"
Sure, I know what you're going to say.
Married People: "Get involved with your Young Adult Group!"
Me: Well, young adults include married people. Usually when groups get together you feel comfortable with other people you know. If you're married - that's someone you know! I like to call Young Adult Groups the "Ultimate Third Wheel" Group. Because I am always that third wheel.
Married People: Okay then, what about online dating services like Catholicsingles or other groups to that affect?
Me: I'm not going to find my soulmate on a computer screen. It's just not my style.
Married People: I know someone perfect for you, and I'll hook you up!
Me: Please don't. I used to think that I needed friends to introduce me to other people, but then I was dishearted by the people they thought I was compatible with. Not that they weren't nice people, but we had no common interests, and there was no attraction. Honestly? I'd rather find "the one" on my own. Now if only he'd show up!
Married People: Maybe God's calling you to the single life?
Me: What does that mean?
Well, that's what I'm exploring with this blog, cecause I don't see God sending anyone my way. I would like to think of myself as a catch, but apparently the male population out there disagrees.
I know God doesn't shut anyone out, but why does it feel that way? Why do my married friends feel that since I don't have a family I have all the time in the world to take on tasks? Why do I have to attend every wedding and baby shower and spends hundreds of dollars on gifts when people can't even remember my stupid birthday to send a card?
I know there are others out there just like me, and my hope and prayer is to reach out to them and find them. My hope and prayer is that we can support each other when it feels like we're all along. My hope and prayer is that we can better learn our role in the Catholic Church. My hope and prayer is that we are not forgotten, and recognized for what we are - Single, and okay with it.
While making copies of statistics sheets last night at a pro-life clinic I volunteer at, I came across a small prayer pamphlet. We have them everywhere, so it wasn't unusual to see them scattered. But this one stood out. Why? Because in a place where pre-marital sex isn't out of the ordinary, and where male-female relationships are key (you have to have both to make a baby!), I found a pamphlet for Catholic singles. Yeah, yeah, I know that you can be single and have kids, or be single and dating, but it still struck me as odd - especially for "my kind of single."
What is my kind of single?
I'm 27 years old. I've never been in a relationship, and I have only been on 4 dates total. Two were prom dates, and two were in college. Seeing as I'm still single, you can see they didn't work out. My first kiss was in college, and while there have been several since, none of them have meant anything to either person involved. I've never had sex, I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been more annoyed by married people in my life! That is "my kind of single."
First off, let me say congratulations to all those married people out there. It's a big step. It's an important step. It's a very loving and religious thing to do. Trust me - you're doing just fine. As Catholic's we believe that God has a plan - and for you the plan is to get married to the love of your life and have the children that God blesses you with. It is your vocation, and it is your life. The Catholic Church supports marriage and thinks highly of those who follow this vocaiton.
So what about singles? Does is seem like the Catholic Church is forgetting its Catholic singles? In a word? Yes.
Church's all over the world hose youth events, senior events, and marriage prep classes. Singles are often lost in the shuffle. Hard to believe since each Catholic church is led by a single. Remember priests are single also!!!
"The family-centric atmosphere the church promotes is undeniably praiseworthy. The Catholic Church is the real deal--the oldest Church, the original social workers, the molder of liturgy, tradition, and our modern day religious celebrations. The Church remains strong in its efforts to promote the peaceful sharing of moral and spiritual convictions among not only its members, but all Christians, and all people throughout the world. Needless to say, Catholic singles are a part of this fellowship. But where is their niche?"
Sure, I know what you're going to say.
Married People: "Get involved with your Young Adult Group!"
Me: Well, young adults include married people. Usually when groups get together you feel comfortable with other people you know. If you're married - that's someone you know! I like to call Young Adult Groups the "Ultimate Third Wheel" Group. Because I am always that third wheel.
Married People: Okay then, what about online dating services like Catholicsingles or other groups to that affect?
Me: I'm not going to find my soulmate on a computer screen. It's just not my style.
Married People: I know someone perfect for you, and I'll hook you up!
Me: Please don't. I used to think that I needed friends to introduce me to other people, but then I was dishearted by the people they thought I was compatible with. Not that they weren't nice people, but we had no common interests, and there was no attraction. Honestly? I'd rather find "the one" on my own. Now if only he'd show up!
Married People: Maybe God's calling you to the single life?
Me: What does that mean?
Well, that's what I'm exploring with this blog, cecause I don't see God sending anyone my way. I would like to think of myself as a catch, but apparently the male population out there disagrees.
I know God doesn't shut anyone out, but why does it feel that way? Why do my married friends feel that since I don't have a family I have all the time in the world to take on tasks? Why do I have to attend every wedding and baby shower and spends hundreds of dollars on gifts when people can't even remember my stupid birthday to send a card?
I know there are others out there just like me, and my hope and prayer is to reach out to them and find them. My hope and prayer is that we can support each other when it feels like we're all along. My hope and prayer is that we can better learn our role in the Catholic Church. My hope and prayer is that we are not forgotten, and recognized for what we are - Single, and okay with it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)